I've grown a little leaner, grown a little colder, grown a little sadder, grown a little older

Is it just me, or was Christmas just not what is used to be like?

Well, I guess we're just not what we used to be like.

Things are nice. Things are pleasant. But they can't make me happy.

I felt so guilty going to the mall with my sister and her boyfriend the day after Christmas to return/exchange/buy stuff. I was disgusted to see how many other people were as materialistic as we are.

I went to our little Christmas get-together at my aunt's today. It made me realize that family and friends are the ones that create the Christmas spirit, not presents.

For my New Year's resolution, I am going to promise to be a better person. Any positive aspects you can point out are deeply overshadowed by negative ones, and that really makes me feel horrible.

Happy Holidays

Panera Warmth

I worked for the first time in my life today. I suppose it could have been worse. I emptied trash cans, cleaned windows, refilled milk dispensers, dumped buckets of ice into the soda machine, and overflowed the coffee machine (forgot to put the damn filter in. whoopsies!).

It's strange. At orientation it seemed like being friendly and inviting was a top priority of any panera employee. However, no one seemed thrilled to be working there. The person who was training me was rather snotty and impatient. I felt as though she was constantly rolling her eyes inside her mind.

Another employee told me that I may not mind the job at first, but I'll learn to hate it. Thanks, now I'm really optimistic. Whatever, it doesn't matter how other people feel. I'm determined to not let anyone Else's negativity dampen my spirits to be working in the finest eatery in Middletown.

So please! Stop by and visit me. I'm sweeping floors and overflowing coffee machines with a smile :)

The Ice is Nice

Thank God that we had a snow day! I was having one of the worst mornings ever! I had finished my bio. presentation last night at 3 a.m., and I was very tired. So, I decided that I would send it to Mr. Haener in the morning. I woke up and my mom told me about the 2 hour delay so I went back to bed and got up at 8:10. I went to send the project and it said it couldn't send it because it was "too big" or it exceeded the maximum limit of 10MB.

I was in a panic. I was making a million different PowerPoints each with only a few slides and sending them each separately. When it was 9:10 I knew I was going to be late for school. I've never been late to school, and I was terrified at what would happen when I got there.

When my dad called from upstairs and said there was no school I literally jumped for joy.

Any who, I had a rather productive day off. I saw the movie "The Day the Earth Stood Still" which I really enjoyed. I also bought Christmas gifts for my former step dad, sister, and future brother-in-law.

Wouldn't it be nice if everyday was a snow day? Well, I guess you can't have too much of a good thing.

BTW, it appears we have about 12-15 inches of snow coming our way on Friday. If we have off again, please use your time to catch up on any needed rest and relaxation. If we don't, enjoy the snow! I still love the fresh powder, even if we have school, and I'm hoping for a white Christmas this year.

Don't Tell Me Not to Live

I worry way too much about pleasing other people, especially my parents. From the time I was an infant to now, I can't ever remember disobeying my parents or going against their wishes. I suppose they know what's best for me... but do they? On second thought, I don't think they do. I, and I alone know what is best for me. I know what I need. I know what I want.

I am glad to say that I am finally beginning to be more assertive. For example, my father, an employee at occc, wants me to go there. But am I going to go there? There is not a chance in hell. I make my own decisions (or at least the ones that influence my future). I worked hard to be where I am today. I am better than occc, and I know it.

If there's one thing I can stress it's to be your own person. Don't let others change you. Don't let others tell you what to do. You are the only one that knows what it is that you are trying to get out of life. Always trust your own judgement over someone else's.

Whisper Words of Wisdom

I was over my dad's (or former step dad's) house today. I pretended to be sicker than I actually was so I wouldn't have to go to church. It's not that I don't like church, it's just that I don't like his church. Going to the catholic church has always been a very pleasant thing for me. Beautiful stained glass, the pews, lit candles, the priest burning the incense, the organ player's soft voice, etc. The pentecostal church is quite different: loud upbeat music, dirty stained carpets and an overall unattractive environment, people dancing and speaking in that gibberish language, etc. Not to mention the fact that a service is 4 hours! I'm very sorry, but I simply do not have the time to spend 4 hours at church. I have better things to do.

Mother Nature Doesn't Care

This is the first time in a while that I've had to stay up this late. It's horrible. I hate homework. (by the way, it's 2:50 A.M.)

Rain is nice, but ice would be better. I don't want to go to school. I'm exhausted!

Yes, I've already taken off a couple of days and for no apparent reason at all. But I feel like
skipping school has just made me fall behind even more.

If you can find a spare moment, take a deep breath. Life is demanding, but you deserve to enjoy it every now and then.

In the Rain, the Pavement Shines Like Silver

I need some way to release my thoughts and feelings. This will do just fine.

I recently saw the Nutcracker and visited the Museum of Modern Art. I enjoyed them both immensely. I believe I have a new found appreciation of art and dance.

You'll be happy to hear that instead of being an obsessive customer at Panera Bread, I am now an employee. I'll try not to be selfish and gobble up all the goodies. I think I can share.

Anyway, I'll leave you with this:

1. Take some time to appreciate the finer things in life. You'll be surprised at what you learn.
2. Relax! Kick up your feet, take off your shoes, and enjoy a fu fu berry soda. Our numerous responsibilities are not going to simply disappear, but maybe we could try to hide from them for a little while. We'll reap the consequences at a later date.